It’s Day 25 of non-stop Dashing for Glorious Leader, with Kim Scott Un taking notes on how all of these poor American college students willingly pay for his services for cold, half-eaten food, and grown men’s preferences for Pad Stats on the Thai menus. It’s a stark contrast from the bountiful smorgasbords provided for the People’s Republic through his generosity.

Glorious Leader was pleased to see that his weather balloons had arrived to St. Bernard, bringing the winds of fury and darkness. Stupid Americans, always giving China all of his due praise. As he waits for his order at Richie’s Chicken and Soul, Glorious Leader continues to be amazed by the power of drive-through booze peddlers. It’s diabolical genius.

He gets his four-bag order and tunes into the Almighty GameChanger.  Kim Jong Bombs has returned from AWOL after being reprieved from death camp assignment, and he quickly infuriates Glorious Leader with his Crew’s base running blunders. After leading his loyal Brew Crew through a decade of debauchery and domination without base coaches, Glorious Leader sees his protégé quickly turning his soldiers into easy outs a la David Bell.

Kim Scott Un wipes the grizzly and okra slime from his scowl and quickly downs 14 more party wings as his rightful cut. Suddenly, he spits a bone, spidering the windshield of his Silveraydo when he hears Kim Jong Bombs wouldn’t take a 45 mph pitch to the face. Instead, he turns his shoulder to bear the brunt of the time-lapse grenade and is shamefully sent back to the dish.

After a few late bombs to the warning track from the Mankini Minister and the disgraced Kim Jong Bombs, Glorious Leader had heard enough, throwing his original Arirang 151 smartphone out the window at the zombies on Vine St.

Glorious Leader carries on from memory, arriving at the Door to be Dashed, a house on Glenwood emanating stink and surrounded by wasps. Since the tip was only $6 on 100 party wings, Glorious Leader throws the three remaining bags on the stoop and storms off, fuming that his master plan is coming together slower than anticipated.